Things I am not allowed to do at the PPC part 5

[tawaki.livejournal.com]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

324: I will not spray the Flowers with Agent Orange.
-Nor Trihexalophine1138.
-Nor any other defoliant.
-Not even the Bracket Fungus.
325: I will not enchant Acme products to work.
326: I am not Rose Potter.
-Nor a relative of her, or her future self or one of her druidesses.
327: I will not assimilate another Agent.
328: I will not try to unite the Deathly Hallows.
329: Cracking the Medical Department's d-base is forbidden.
-Especially for use in the Secrets room.
330: I will swap Grand Admiral Thrawn with Major General Stanley.
331: I will not set the militant Bahro loose in HQ.
332: Am not allowed to give use pictures of Rose Potter as threats to get more bleeprin.
333: Despite being able to take any form, I will reform from taking any form that will render me truely insane.
-Dalek and Borg forms are also out.
334: I will not pretend to be a Borg, enough though our uniforms have some Borg properties.
335: I will not attempt to start the Department of Overkill, at least not without exrpess approval from all Flowers, which is unlikely.
336: I will not import computer virii into the Matrix to try and crash it.
- even if I hear it bluescreens very prettily.
337: I will not randomly unplug two wires in DoSAT, and then cross them.
338: Conversely, I will not tell Makes-Things that I crossed two wires when I in fact did not.
339: I will not ignore the "Spatial Rift: No entry" signs, no matter where they may appear.
340: I will not replace Sues' magic books with grimoires on how to summon big, angry demons, who would then rampage and destroy the town/city/school/wherever.
-even if it's an extra-canonical location.
341: I will never challenge the locomotive for right-of-way in the halls.
342: I will not attempt to hurt myself in new and unusual ways to provoke a reaction out of Medical.
343: I will not attempt to make gunpowder in my response center.
-or thermite
-or napalm
344: I will never bring a live Sue to HQ, for the purpose of "sharing the fun" with other agents.
-Though sometimes amusing, I will never light another Agent on fire.
345: Termites. The Bonsai Mallorn, Just no.
346: I will not Imperius another Agent into becoming a nothlit.
347: I will not stage anti-war protests in Minas Tirith.
-Nor on Deep Space Nine.
348: I will not get anyone onto Chrysoprase's bad side.
-Except for Mary Sues and Gary Stus.
349: I will not leave caltrops all over Dream Valley.
350: I will not get Makes-Things drunk.
-Some of those machines require an alert mind to operate them.
351: I will not go swimming in the Floating Hyacinth's tank.
352: On a related note, I will not skinny-dip in the Fountain of Bleepka.
-Or the HQ pool, if it exists.
353: I will not let a fantard into the presence of his/her Lust Object outside of an OFU.
354: I am not allowed to send a copy of the '50 Things I am no longer allowed to do at Hogwarts' list to any Hogwarts student or faculty member.
-Especially not to the Weasley twins.
-Sending a copy of 'Things SG Teams Are No Longer Allowed To Do' (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2815053/1/Things_SG_Teams_are_No_Longer_Allowed_to_Do) to Jack O'Neil is equally prohibited.
-I may not send any form of any list of forbidden actions in any location to any canon character.
-Not even if that character is unlikely to spread it around or do anything on the list in question. The quiet ones are always the worst.
355: I will not portal a Zooanthrope Agent into a double planet system at random.
-No, not even Wallace-and-Gromit-verse Kyniclanthropes.
356: I will not give Sirrus all the red pages or Achenar the blue.
-Nor will I give Esher the Tablet.
357: I will not use a CAD in That Series.
-Or Ch* Ch*ng's D*sires.
358: I will never send anyone into a You!Fic without a YCD.
359: I will not try to cross Narnia over with HDM.
360: I will not try to rob Gringotts.
361: I will not give a mini to a G'home Gnome.
362: I will not portal anyone to Qrrbrbirlbel who hasn't had Kendallverse survival training.
363: I will not unleash macroviruses in HQ.
364: I will not use a Sun Crusher to threaten the Flowers.
-Or a Xindi Superweapon.