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Dec. 25th, 2008 12:34 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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the_ppc
Paladin fidgeted in the waiting room, more out of habit then nervousness. The Marquis de Sod’s waiting room, like every other waiting room across the Multiverse, was stocked with an array of ancient magazines, enough to temporarily distract one’s self, but too boring to actually hold one’s attention. Finally, after what may very well have been an eternity (you can never tell in HQ), the DOP secretary, a lovely green-skinned girl, bid him entry into the office.
Paladin…it’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Paladin heard the Marquis de Sod’s thoughts in his mind and he stepped through the door. The Daisy was sitting at his desk, his bloom tilted downward as if ignoring him, but his thoughts continued. Though I believe we knew you by another name at the time. Paladin winced slightly. “You and I both know the power of true names. Can you blame for keeping mine obscured?” he responded. No matter, thought the Marquis. According to our records you were in the service with the DMS as an intelligence operative. You had all the makings of a fine assassin, but turned the position down due to “lacking the proper blood lust.”And now you come back, and volunteer, actually volunteer, as a field operative? The Daisy’s bloom tilted up toward him. Paladin could hear the incredulity in his thoughts. “Five years is a long time. Things have changed. I’ve changed.” Cliché, but it had to be said.
So we have heard. Well then, as a test of your resolve, I’m assigning you to DAVD. If you have half the experience you claim to have had out in the Multiverse, you should have no trouble handling it. In fact, we have some plans for you. After the Celebrian Incident, the Big Thorn contacted me about forming a special unit to deal with the worst of the worst of badfic. As hardened as you are, you are the perfect candidate.
Paladin mentally sighed. It figures; since he’s suffered so much mental trauma already, dumping more on him couldn’t possibly hurt.
We’ve already assigned you a partner, the Marquis continued, oblivious or willingly ignorant to Paladin’s annoyance. She has also been specially chosen. She was a top assassin for the DMS in the Anime and Manga division before a Sue got the drop on her and blasted her. We were able to…rebuild her, fortunately. In fact, she’s quite the test bed for new technology. At any rate, she should be able to provide with all the fire support you need. “Wait, what? Fire support?” Paladin interrupted. “What’s that suppos”- The Marquis cut him off. I should warn you, your new partner is still…adapting to her new form. It would be wise to be supportive of her when possible. “I’ll resist the temptation to make Inspector Gadget jokes. Or Gunslinger Girl jokes, for that matter,” Paladin replied. I would advise that. If Hornbeam’s prosthesises are working as planned, she should be able to crush steel with her bare fist. Paladin gulped. This was going to be an interesting assignment.
Paladin meandered his way through Headquarters, trying to find his new response center. He had learned the trick of navigating HQ during his previous stint here, but had long ago forgotten it. It didn’t help that the place had expanded enormously in his absence. So many new agents and new departments even. He was still catching up on all the happenings. It seems he had missed quite a bit, probably all the better for it. There was fresh paint in many of the corridors, along with hastily repaired battle damage. On the other hand, some things never changed-the flowers were still as sarcastic as ever, if his interview was any guide. After stopping to chitchat with a passing flower about the latest additions to Headquarters, Paladin suddenly found himself outside his Response Center. Ah, just like old times, he thought.
In a moment of politeness, he knocked before entering. “It’s open!” a voice cried from inside. Paladin opened the door and scoped out the RC. It was pretty much like any other RC, with a console, equipment lockers, and accommodations. It looked like his partner was still moving in as well: there were half-opened boxes scattered about, and rolled up posters waiting to be put up. However, rather then unpacking, his partner was sprawled out on her bed, watching anime. If it weren’t for the fact that he’d heard her voice, Paladin wouldn’t have been sure she noticed him. “Um…hi” he tentatively said. “Gimme a sec…I want to finish this episode” she replied, her voice distant. Well, this is awkward, Paladin thought. After a few minutes, a catchy theme song issued from the speakers, heralding the end of whatever it was she was watching. She switched off the TV and languidly got up. Paladin finally got a good look at his partner.
She was only a little shorter then him, and maybe a few years younger than him. Of course, they’re almost all younger, Paladin corrected himself. She had an athletic build, no doubt from years of assassin work. Dirty blonde hair descended past her shoulders, neatly parted in the middle. Her green eyes focused on him. Paladin was initially surprised at how…normal looking she was. There were no Borg-style eyepieces or claws, no wires sticking out at odd intervals. Her eyes were in fact eyes, not camera lenses. He was almost disappointed.
“Hi”, he started again.
“I’m Paladin. I’m pretty sure I’m your new partner. Pleased to meet you.”
“I’m Scathach. Nice to meet you.”
She extended a hand. As they shook, Paladin thought her skin felt a little odd, but chalked it up to his imagination.
After another awkward pause, Scathach spoke. “So, I’m glad they finally assigned me another partner.”
“What happened to your previous one?” Paladin asked, before realizing this was probably a bad idea.
“Oh, she retired after the…incident.”
“And they wouldn’t let you retire?” Paladin continued.
“Nope, I was too valuable to retire.” Paladin could hear the bitterness and anger dripping off her voice. Whoo boy, not only was she possibly cybernetic, but she was also pissed as hell.
The flicker of anger passed, and she brightened up a bit. “I assume the Marquis or Big Thorn gave you the run down, correct?”
“Yep”. Paladin smiled. Maybe she wasn’t going to be so difficult after all. “Apparently we have a pretty liberal charge policy. It’s nice for a change. To be honest, I’m kind of looking forward to this.”
Scathach looked at him with a puzzled expression for a bit, and then spoke. “They were right. You are insane.”
“What?” Paladin asked, acting offended. “If you can’t enjoy your job, you might as well not work. Besides, from what I heard, I get to play with all kinds of shiney new things that blows stuff up!” Paladin broke into a manic grin.
Scathach looked at him even harder.
“What, I’m a guy, so sue me. It’s part of our DNA, like craving giant robots and cleavage” Paladin exclaimed.
“Listen, you really, really, really don’t want me to slap you” Scathach replied with just a hint of danger in her voice.
“Oh. Right. Yeah, about that, you don’t seem very…cyborgish” Paladin said, probably sticking his foot in mouth once again.
Scathach sighed. “All the implants are internal. They’re not meant to be noticeable. She raised up her right arm and pulled up her sleeve. It looked normal enough, though Paladin thought he saw a plastic dullness in it. “The limbs are carbon fiber frames with synthetic musculature. The skin is also synthetic, and interwoven with millions of sensors. It’s just like the real thing, maybe better. Or so they tell me anyway.”
“Wow” said Paladin, thoroughly impressed. “So, are you really super-strong and all that? Can bend steel? Leap tall buildings in a single bound? Punch through concrete?”
“Well,” replied Scathach, “If you don’t stop asking annoying questions, I can break your spine in two with my little finger. I can also do this,” she said, and reached over to her desk and picked up an Altoids container. She then proceeded to easily crush it in one hand into a ball the size of a quarter and pitched it in the trash can.
“Oh. Fuck.” Said Paladin, in a state of shock. He slowly backed away. “I’m just going to go over to my side of the room and try not to wet my pants.”
“Aww, I’m just messing with you.” Scathach chuckled. “Here, calm down. This calls for a celebration.” She opened up a drawer and pulled out a bottle of vodka, real vodka, not that bleepka stuff. Paladin’s eyes went wide with delight.
“Where did you get this stuff?” Paladin gushed.
“Oh, I have some contacts. Why, you want your own stash?” Scathach replied.
“Actually, I’m not that fond of vodka, but booze is booze. You think your contact might be able to procured, oh, I don’t know, a Scottish 15 year old single malt whiskey? Or maybe a case of Belgian white ale?” Paladin asked.
“Perhaps. I’ll be sure to ask next time” Scathach replied, with a glimmer in her eye.
Well, thought Paladin, this will make things much easier. Scathach got out some shot glasses and poured him a shot. It was Sobieski vodka, Polish apparently. Paladin never saw the point of unflavored alcohol, but it had a nice slow burn to it. Besides, booze was booze. For once, the Laws of Narrative Comedy were suspended, and he managed to finish his drink before the console alarm went off.
BEEEEEEEPP!
Sorry about that, everyone. My LJ-Fu is weak. Hopefully this'll work.
Paladin…it’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Paladin heard the Marquis de Sod’s thoughts in his mind and he stepped through the door. The Daisy was sitting at his desk, his bloom tilted downward as if ignoring him, but his thoughts continued. Though I believe we knew you by another name at the time. Paladin winced slightly. “You and I both know the power of true names. Can you blame for keeping mine obscured?” he responded. No matter, thought the Marquis. According to our records you were in the service with the DMS as an intelligence operative. You had all the makings of a fine assassin, but turned the position down due to “lacking the proper blood lust.”And now you come back, and volunteer, actually volunteer, as a field operative? The Daisy’s bloom tilted up toward him. Paladin could hear the incredulity in his thoughts. “Five years is a long time. Things have changed. I’ve changed.” Cliché, but it had to be said.
So we have heard. Well then, as a test of your resolve, I’m assigning you to DAVD. If you have half the experience you claim to have had out in the Multiverse, you should have no trouble handling it. In fact, we have some plans for you. After the Celebrian Incident, the Big Thorn contacted me about forming a special unit to deal with the worst of the worst of badfic. As hardened as you are, you are the perfect candidate.
Paladin mentally sighed. It figures; since he’s suffered so much mental trauma already, dumping more on him couldn’t possibly hurt.
We’ve already assigned you a partner, the Marquis continued, oblivious or willingly ignorant to Paladin’s annoyance. She has also been specially chosen. She was a top assassin for the DMS in the Anime and Manga division before a Sue got the drop on her and blasted her. We were able to…rebuild her, fortunately. In fact, she’s quite the test bed for new technology. At any rate, she should be able to provide with all the fire support you need. “Wait, what? Fire support?” Paladin interrupted. “What’s that suppos”- The Marquis cut him off. I should warn you, your new partner is still…adapting to her new form. It would be wise to be supportive of her when possible. “I’ll resist the temptation to make Inspector Gadget jokes. Or Gunslinger Girl jokes, for that matter,” Paladin replied. I would advise that. If Hornbeam’s prosthesises are working as planned, she should be able to crush steel with her bare fist. Paladin gulped. This was going to be an interesting assignment.
Paladin meandered his way through Headquarters, trying to find his new response center. He had learned the trick of navigating HQ during his previous stint here, but had long ago forgotten it. It didn’t help that the place had expanded enormously in his absence. So many new agents and new departments even. He was still catching up on all the happenings. It seems he had missed quite a bit, probably all the better for it. There was fresh paint in many of the corridors, along with hastily repaired battle damage. On the other hand, some things never changed-the flowers were still as sarcastic as ever, if his interview was any guide. After stopping to chitchat with a passing flower about the latest additions to Headquarters, Paladin suddenly found himself outside his Response Center. Ah, just like old times, he thought.
In a moment of politeness, he knocked before entering. “It’s open!” a voice cried from inside. Paladin opened the door and scoped out the RC. It was pretty much like any other RC, with a console, equipment lockers, and accommodations. It looked like his partner was still moving in as well: there were half-opened boxes scattered about, and rolled up posters waiting to be put up. However, rather then unpacking, his partner was sprawled out on her bed, watching anime. If it weren’t for the fact that he’d heard her voice, Paladin wouldn’t have been sure she noticed him. “Um…hi” he tentatively said. “Gimme a sec…I want to finish this episode” she replied, her voice distant. Well, this is awkward, Paladin thought. After a few minutes, a catchy theme song issued from the speakers, heralding the end of whatever it was she was watching. She switched off the TV and languidly got up. Paladin finally got a good look at his partner.
She was only a little shorter then him, and maybe a few years younger than him. Of course, they’re almost all younger, Paladin corrected himself. She had an athletic build, no doubt from years of assassin work. Dirty blonde hair descended past her shoulders, neatly parted in the middle. Her green eyes focused on him. Paladin was initially surprised at how…normal looking she was. There were no Borg-style eyepieces or claws, no wires sticking out at odd intervals. Her eyes were in fact eyes, not camera lenses. He was almost disappointed.
“Hi”, he started again.
“I’m Paladin. I’m pretty sure I’m your new partner. Pleased to meet you.”
“I’m Scathach. Nice to meet you.”
She extended a hand. As they shook, Paladin thought her skin felt a little odd, but chalked it up to his imagination.
After another awkward pause, Scathach spoke. “So, I’m glad they finally assigned me another partner.”
“What happened to your previous one?” Paladin asked, before realizing this was probably a bad idea.
“Oh, she retired after the…incident.”
“And they wouldn’t let you retire?” Paladin continued.
“Nope, I was too valuable to retire.” Paladin could hear the bitterness and anger dripping off her voice. Whoo boy, not only was she possibly cybernetic, but she was also pissed as hell.
The flicker of anger passed, and she brightened up a bit. “I assume the Marquis or Big Thorn gave you the run down, correct?”
“Yep”. Paladin smiled. Maybe she wasn’t going to be so difficult after all. “Apparently we have a pretty liberal charge policy. It’s nice for a change. To be honest, I’m kind of looking forward to this.”
Scathach looked at him with a puzzled expression for a bit, and then spoke. “They were right. You are insane.”
“What?” Paladin asked, acting offended. “If you can’t enjoy your job, you might as well not work. Besides, from what I heard, I get to play with all kinds of shiney new things that blows stuff up!” Paladin broke into a manic grin.
Scathach looked at him even harder.
“What, I’m a guy, so sue me. It’s part of our DNA, like craving giant robots and cleavage” Paladin exclaimed.
“Listen, you really, really, really don’t want me to slap you” Scathach replied with just a hint of danger in her voice.
“Oh. Right. Yeah, about that, you don’t seem very…cyborgish” Paladin said, probably sticking his foot in mouth once again.
Scathach sighed. “All the implants are internal. They’re not meant to be noticeable. She raised up her right arm and pulled up her sleeve. It looked normal enough, though Paladin thought he saw a plastic dullness in it. “The limbs are carbon fiber frames with synthetic musculature. The skin is also synthetic, and interwoven with millions of sensors. It’s just like the real thing, maybe better. Or so they tell me anyway.”
“Wow” said Paladin, thoroughly impressed. “So, are you really super-strong and all that? Can bend steel? Leap tall buildings in a single bound? Punch through concrete?”
“Well,” replied Scathach, “If you don’t stop asking annoying questions, I can break your spine in two with my little finger. I can also do this,” she said, and reached over to her desk and picked up an Altoids container. She then proceeded to easily crush it in one hand into a ball the size of a quarter and pitched it in the trash can.
“Oh. Fuck.” Said Paladin, in a state of shock. He slowly backed away. “I’m just going to go over to my side of the room and try not to wet my pants.”
“Aww, I’m just messing with you.” Scathach chuckled. “Here, calm down. This calls for a celebration.” She opened up a drawer and pulled out a bottle of vodka, real vodka, not that bleepka stuff. Paladin’s eyes went wide with delight.
“Where did you get this stuff?” Paladin gushed.
“Oh, I have some contacts. Why, you want your own stash?” Scathach replied.
“Actually, I’m not that fond of vodka, but booze is booze. You think your contact might be able to procured, oh, I don’t know, a Scottish 15 year old single malt whiskey? Or maybe a case of Belgian white ale?” Paladin asked.
“Perhaps. I’ll be sure to ask next time” Scathach replied, with a glimmer in her eye.
Well, thought Paladin, this will make things much easier. Scathach got out some shot glasses and poured him a shot. It was Sobieski vodka, Polish apparently. Paladin never saw the point of unflavored alcohol, but it had a nice slow burn to it. Besides, booze was booze. For once, the Laws of Narrative Comedy were suspended, and he managed to finish his drink before the console alarm went off.
BEEEEEEEPP!
Sorry about that, everyone. My LJ-Fu is weak. Hopefully this'll work.
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Date: 2008-12-25 06:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 08:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-27 04:26 am (UTC)Your agents sound pretty good to me. ^_^ My sword is named Scathach, for I am a folk/fairytale and mythology geek.
-Agent Glass