PPC

As tawaki helpfully informed me, the adventures of Ekwy and Milano (PPC:DMS, Harry Potter Division) are no longer readable except through http://web.archive.org. Therefore, as has happened with the adventures of Meg and Will in Despatch, I am archiving their missions here. The agents' personal information will be posted on the wiki later on, for the sake of posterity.

( Mission One: By My Side )

Many a fangirl has wandered onto our board or our respective livejournals, questioning and complaining about our canon-defending work. “Why was my fic targeted? I’m nice!”, “If you don’t like it, don’t read it!”, “I wrote this at one in the morning!”, and other phrases have become so common that it’s not worth our time anymore to construct spur-of-the-moment essays about literary points that we’ve already told a thousand other fangirls a thousand other times. Consequently, I posed a set of frequently asked questions at the Board and got a host of replies. While I am the compiler of these replies, I am not the sole author—credit goes to the entire Board.

Anytime a Suethor, fangirl, or curious newbie asks these questions, feel free to direct them here and save yourself the trouble of a lengthy reply! The PPC Board presents:

The Canon Protection Initiative FAQ

Before we get into the answers themselves, I want you to take a good long look at Fanfiction.net's code of conduct for fanwriters. Don't just skim it; read it. Emphasis is mine.

Here is a list of conducts that should always be observed:
1. Spell check all stories and poems. There is no excuse for not doing this. If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as Google.Com to find one.
2. Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. "Hot off the press" content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability.
3. Respect the reviewers. Not all reviews will strictly praise the work. If someone rightfully criticizes a portion of the writing, take it as a compliment that the reviewer has opted to spend his/her valuable time to help improve your writing.
4. Everyone here is an aspiring writer. Respect your fellow members and lend a helping a hand when they need it. Like many things, the path to becoming a better writer is often a two way street.
5. Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself.

If you are a fanfiction.net writer and you have not spell-checked your stories, have not proofread all of your work, have not used proper textual formatting, and/or have been snotty to your reviewers, you can leave now. If you won't listen to the site that is hosting your story for free, then you obviously won't listen to anything I say. Nice meeting you, have a great day, and I hope to PPC your work sometime soon.

For those of you who remain, I offer exclusive answers to every fangirl's questions and complaints about the evil, über-cruel PPCers, MSTers, GAFFers, and other anti-Suvians.


1. EXCUSES, EXCUSES

( This is a hobby. It's just for fun. That means I can be as sloppy as I want. )

( I worked really hard on this story. Honest! )

( Don't be hard on me. I wrote this at one in the morning! )

( I'm sugar high! )

( I’m only twelve! You don’t have to be so cruel! )

( It’s only fiction! )

( It’s only fanFICTION! )

( My grandfather died/my cat hates me/I’m depressed/my parents don’t understand me. Because of that, you should spare my feelings. )

( I’m not a native speaker! )

( It’s not my fault I write badly: I have a learning disability! )


2. KNOCKING OUR KNOWLEDGE

( You guys are way too obsessive! )

( Who made you God/Tolkien/perfect? )

( What’s so wrong about my fic that you get this upset? )

( You’re just jealous of the author’s talent. )

( Who are you to judge? I bet you can't write half as well. Show me some of your work, if you're so much better! )

( You don't have to be so hard on beginning writers. Don't you remember when you were younger and wrote badly? )

( Nothing in fanfiction is canon. By your definition, canon is the source material so there isn't really any 'canonical' fanfiction. )


3. MUDSLINGING

( You're mean! )

( 'Bitch! Lesbian! Geek!' and other 'insults'. )

( You all just need to get laid! )

( You're a nerd who lives in a basement/ lives with parents/has no life. )

( You must have had a deprived childhood. You only mock others' fics to boost your own low self-esteem! )

( You all think you're so cool/ You're egotistical and snobbish! )


4. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT…

( If you don't like it, don't read it!/If you don't like it, don't give me bad reviews!/If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all! )

( Why don't you just stop reading it after you've realized that you hated it? )

( I can do whatever I want with my story! )


5. OTHER ARGUMENTS

( You're plagiarizing my stuff by using it in a PPC or MST! )

( You're inhibiting my creativity! Because of your cruel remarks, I shall never write again! )

( Thought you could stop me from writing, didn't you? Well, I won't! I'm stronger than ever and will never give up because of you! )

( You just like bullying people who don't write as well as you. )

( You are a flamer! )

( You are so! There's an anonymous message here that has a link to your site. )

( Cowards! Why do you mock me on your own sites behind my back? )

( You were trying to upset me, but I'm just laughing at your stupidity! )

( You insulted the story or character, so in a way you insulted me! )

( My friend, Suethor X, is a nice person. Why did you pick on her? )

( Why can’t you just read and write good stories instead of making fun of bad ones? )

_________________

If you see a question that isn’t on here, please feel free to tell me what it is.